marriage humor

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2. There was this guy who told his woman that he lovedher so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - andnow he is going thru hell.

3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wifewanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said thesame thing : "You can have mine."

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Justwatch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his handsare on the wheel,you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7. What's the matter, you look depressed." "I am havingtrouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going tospeak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did,but today is the last day."

WOMAN
When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going afterher. When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her. Whenshe is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her. When she is 48 - Sheis a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.

MAN
At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap

wat is ur opinion???izit true???hahahah